Bitch-troverted. An Introverts Tale


So I run into this issue a lot in my fast paced and glamorous life. Why am I such a bitch? Well one explination I can give is that I’m just simply a bitch for the sake of being a bitch and I’m sure most people who meet me would have this first impression. True it takes awhile before someone actually see’s the REAL me (Que slow piano music) and I’m just gonna throw out some reasons as to why I am the way I am.

Realize that none of this is based on scientific fact and I didnt do any kindof research   (I’m American) so everything I’m saying here is based on my own opinion and feelings.

To start I was picked on like crazy all through elementary school to the point of almost being seriously harmed. So by the time I got to highschool I had already developed an outer shell. You see I’m a total INTROVERT. I’m naturally shy and It’s not easy for me to be out spoken or quickly jump into conversations. I usually just sit back and listen when I can. I spend a lot of my time alone on purpose.

I know what your thinking – You? Someone so stylish and witty an introvert? MADNESS! But it’s true.

So because I was always super small physically compared to most of the people I was around in school I usually couldnt really defend myself in a fight. HOWEVER what I realized Is that I didnt have to if I destroyed my bullies confidence with WORDS beforehand. And thats exactly what I did. I became a wizard at finding the one comment or phrase that would rip their hearts out, embarrass or shame them. I was NEVER picked on in highchool afterwards. And here is where the Bitch in me began to blossom.

Back to the introvert thing. As i left school and started out in the real world I reverted back to my usual introverted style, MOST people after highschool get over their bullying phase so I really didnt need to defend myself in anyway. However not long after highschool I discovered a whole new set of troubles for a nerdy introvert. People dont like hanging out with other people who are quiet. It’s just natural. People in general are social beings and being such they like to laugh and talk to exuberance about nothing in particular. It’s all good as long as you participate. I dont like to participate.

This is a MAJOR issue for me still as an adult which is why the Bitch in me had to be resserected.

As an Introvert and I feel like i can safley say most intoverts feel the same way. It is so fucking annoying when your hanging out with a bunch of friends, seemngly have a great time when someone says “Your so quiet. Is Something wrong?” There Is always some jack ass who is too observant for his own good. As soon as this happens it’s pretty much game over because everyone else in the group starts to notice and it becomes a THING.

“Whats wrong with him? why isnt he talking? such a snob, whyd he even come? Total BITCH”

I can’t exaplin why I feel too shy sometimes to do anything other than observe BUT almost %100 of the time I am enjoying myself and mean no harm. But because people can’t seem to understand this or just find it annoying I now have no other choice but to retaliate with firey bitchiness. I’ve tried explaining myself to tons of people but either it comes off as an excuse or they just plain dont buy it.

So now this is typically what you can expect. To stop the constant “Whats wrong?” quetions I wear a stone cold don’t fucking talk to me cuz I’m totally better than you BITCH FACE. No one questions that. And instead of people thinking somethings wrong or sad about me now they just stay out of my way.

If that doesnt work and some queen thinks he’s found a damaged fixer upper who he can rescue I impliment that sharp tongue I picked up in highschool. “Whats wron- THATS FINNY I WAS ABOUT TO ASK YOU THE SAME THING” is typically how those conversations begin. And end.

It may seem like I’m blaming the world for my issues (I’m American) but I really do think my suroundings had SOME part in shaping my personality today. I can be super fun, I’ve learned to give a little and push my self to be less quiet and more outgoing. I’m not really that much of a bitch at heart. Just certain factors in my life have allowed that part of me to flourish. I blame the media. There i go again.

So If your hangin out with someone and notice you are doing most of the talking. BEFORE you assume the person you are with is a bitch, dumb, empty headed. Consider first maybe they are just a little introverted. And if you want to hang with us your gonna have to get used to the way we are.

Or face the chances that the person your with is ME and that if you continue to comment on my participation I will most likely reward you with a mouth full of READINGS that MAY or MAY not make you reconsider your choices in life. Or at the very least send you home crying.

Other than that I’m a totally chill guy;) Unless I’ve had a few shots of fire ball and then yeah I’m a total bitch.


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